Two days ago, a friend asked me how could a BB company with Girls' Wing (GW) co-exist together in a church with a GB company. The question caught me by surprise.
My first respond was, "Well, GB and GW cater for different types of girls. The more adventurous will be interested in GW and the more girlish will opted for GB. Furthermore, BB has a school platoon but GB did not enter the school. Therefore the BB needs GW to cater for girls in the school." I'm not certain how convinced he was with my explanation.
This issue has always been closed to my heart. The three most important woman in my life was once a GB member, my mum, sister and girlfriend. However, both my sister and girlfriend eventually joined BB, switching from GB (although in very different circumstances). In addition, I also have the privilege to speak personally with the person who proposed BB to start GW, which was my uncle. Putting aside the biasness, I have to agree his reasons were valid and rational.
Many people who understands both BB and GB well, cited that the GB was not growing in accordance with the development of the generation. In this aspect, I have to agree. In the current fast-changing world, girls are striving for gender equality with boys. Feminine activities such as sewing, cooking, knitting and even wearing skirt does not seems appealing.
I further understand that another reason to start GW in BB was due to the efficiency issue, whereby churches only need to fund one organisation to cater for both boys and girls rather than two separate organisation. Again, this argument seems valid from administrative viewpoint.
However, the relationship of BB and GB should be illustrated as a marriage. In fact, many BB and GB companies were founded together in the same church. Therefore when BB opted to start GW, I illutrate it as taking a mistress into a separating marriage. This will caused more hurt and complication to the already strained relationship. Due to the breakdown in the relationship at the highest-decision making level, the consequences affected everyone in both the organisation. Just like kids suffer the most when families broke down.
Although it has been more than a decade that BB started GW, girls in BB stills struggle with identity problem. God created Man and Woman to be unique. I felt that girls in GW should have their own identity and uniqueness. In BB the only distinction of a female from a male is only an asterisk on the name tag. Other than that, everything is the same. It certainly distorted the differences of boys and girls. In addition, there was even a debate recently in BB trying to regulate that lady officers must only wear pants and not skirts. That reflected the level of tolerance within BB towards the opposite gender, even after more than a decade opening the door to girls.
I wish to add that girls in the GW struggle with identity and recognition problem. There was once, someone pointed out that my girlfriend made a typo error in her resume when she listed Boys' Brigade as an extra curricular activity. In fact, it was hard to associate girls under the name of BB. I always see the strange look on people's face when they hear girls in BB.
When a marriage fails, people tend to start pointing fingers at one another. However, it always take two hands to clap. In this case, I viewed the cause as GB's reluctant to change and BB's aggressiveness and self-centeredness that caused the separation, which ultimately led to the inclusion of GW. Therefore it needed effort now for both BB and GB to reconciliate again. Observing the progress of the both organisation, I am optimisitic that the ideal solution could be achieve.
Lastly, I maintain my stedfastness of perspective that BB and GB should be working hand-in-hand and more ideally, merged into one organisation like the Boys' and Girls' Brigade of Neenah/Menasha in the United States. Therefore, my challenge for leaders in both organisation to humbly come together, putting aside individual interest and self-centeredness, to sort out the differences and worked towards advancing God's Kingdom among the young people of Malaysia.
For more information about Boys' and Girls' Brigade of Neenah/Menasha visit:
http://www.bgbrigade.org/
6 November 2006
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