Shock and Loneliness

The shock of seeing someone passed away in front of your eyes seems to have affected me more than I expected. I was still in a paranoid state of fearing being alone.

The question the counsellor asked was, "Does this problem of loneliness already existed?" If yes, perhaps the shock of such incident just escalated that feeling. I think perhaps he was right on this as I indeed felt lonely in Singapore despite the easy access of communication and not such a great differences in culture and lifestyle.

However, the next big question I began to ask following this incident is, "What God wants me to learn from this?" The more question I asked the more questions surfaced instead of answering it. In addition to that, I guess it takes time to get over the shock and then reflect on this moment. Certainly, I am not in the right frame of mind to reflect.

"Dear Lord, give me the courage to face all circumstances that I am facing. I acknowledge my weakness and inability to handle my emotions and fears in moment like that. Grant me the strength and carry me through these tough times. I commit myself into Your hands. Thank you Lord. Amen."